Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids Read online

  Q: Why is it so easy for an elephant to get a job?

  A: Because they’ll work for peanuts.

  Q: What is the difference between a cat and a frog?

  A: A cat only has nine lives but a frog croaks every day.

  Q: What does a frog say when he washes windows?

  A: “Rub it, rub it, rub it.”

  Q: What do you get when a lion escapes from the zoo?

  A: A cat-astrophe.

  Q: What is the best kind of cat to have around?

  A: A dandy-lion.

  Q: What did the tiger say to her cubs when they wanted to go out and play?

  A: “Be careful—it’s a jungle out there!”

  Q: Why did the monkey almost get fired?

  A: It took him a while to get into the swing of things.

  Q: Why is the snail one of the strongest creatures in the world?

  A: They can carry their houses on their backs.

  Q: What do you get when you cross a bear with a forest?

  A: You get fur trees.

  Q: Where do trout keep their money?

  A: In a river bank.

  Q: What did the worm say to her daughter when she came home late?

  A: “Where on earth have you been?”

  Q: What did the boy say when he threw a slug across the room?

  A: “Man, how slime flies!”

  Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?

  A: It’s an elephant, so who’s going to stop him?

  Q: What is a frog’s favorite flower?

  A: A croak-us.

  Q: How do you keep a dog from barking in the backseat of the car?

  A: Put him in the front seat of the car.

  Q: What do you get when you cross a monkey and a peach?

  A: You get an ape-ricot.

  Q: How do you greet a frog?

  A: “Wart’s up?”

  Q: Who brings kittens for Christmas?

  A: Santa Claws.

  Q: What did Santa give Rudolph for his upset stomach?

  A: Elk-A-Seltzer.

  3

  KNOCK KNOCK JOKES

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Butter.

  Butter who?

  I butter not tell you—it’s a secret.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Wendy.

  Wendy who?

  Wendy you think we’ll be done with these knock knock jokes?

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Hailey.

  Hailey who?

  Hailey a cab so I can go home.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Wayne.

  Wayne who?

  The Wayne is really coming down, so open the door!

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Weasel.

  Weasel who?

  Weasel be late if you don’t hurry up.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Norway.

  Norway who?

  There is Norway I’m leaving until you open this door.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Raymond.

  Raymond who?

  Raymond me to go to the store to get some milk and eggs.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Nose.

  Nose who?

  I nose a lot more knock knock jokes if you want to hear them.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Hannah.

  Hannah who?

  Hannah me some of those apples, I’m hungry!

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Little old lady.

  Little old lady who?

  I didn’t know you could yodel!

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Olive.

  Olive who?

  Olive you. Do you love me too?

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Eileen.

  Eileen who?

  I’m so tall, Eileen over to get through the door.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Les.

  Les who?

  Les cut the small talk and let me in.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Brett.

  Brett who?

  Brett you don’t know who this is!

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Bacon.

  Bacon who?

  I’m bacon a cake for your birthday.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Irish.

  Irish who?

  Irish you’d let me in.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Ashley.

  Ashley who?

  Ashley I changed my mind and I don’t want to come in.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Italy.

  Italy who?

  Italy a shame if you don’t open this door!

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Alda.

  Alda who?

  Alda kids like my knock knock jokes.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Gwen.

  Gwen who?

  Gwen do you think we can get together?

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Francis.

  Francis who?

  Francis next to Spain.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Cook.

  Cook who?

  Are you as crazy as you sound?

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Juno.

  Juno who?

  Juno it’s me so let me in now!

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Alex.

  Alex who?

  Alex plain later, now let me in!

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Gladys.

  Gladys who?

  Aren’t you Gladys is the last knock knock joke?

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Joanna.

  Joanna who?

  Joanna come out and play?

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Archie.

  Archie who?

  Archie going to let me in?

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Robin.

  Robin who?

  Robin a bank is against the law.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Duncan.

  Duncan who?

  Duncan cookies in milk tastes good.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Pastor.

  Pastor who?

  Pastor potatoes. I’m hungry!

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Carson.

  Carson who?

  Carson the freeway drive really fast.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Ben.

  Ben who?

  I’ve Ben gone a lot lately and came by to see you.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Doug.

  Doug who?

  I Doug deep and still couldn’t find my keys. Please let me in!

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Aldon.

  Aldon who?

  When you’re Aldon with dinner can you come out and play?

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  House.

  House who?

  House it going for you?

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Arlo.

  Arlo who?

  Arlo temperature is making me cold. Please let me in!

  Knock knoc
k.

  Who’s there?

  Ben.

  Ben who?

  I haven’t Ben over to visit in a long time.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Mia.

  Mia who?

  Mia hand is killing me from all this knocking. Will you please let me in?

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Anna.

  Anna who?

  Anna chance you’ll let me in? It’s cold out here!

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Samantha.

  Samantha who?

  Can you give me Samantha to my questions?

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Lee.

  Lee who?

  I’m lone Lee without you. Please let me in!

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Ya.

  Ya who?

  Giddyup, cowboy!

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Cameron.

  Cameron who?

  Is the Cameron? I want to take a picture.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Stan.

  Stan who?

  Stan back because I’m going to break down the door!

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Ice.

  Ice who?

  It would be really ice to see you, so please open the door.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Eyes.

  Eyes who?

  Eyes better come in before I catch a cold.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Ada.

  Ada who?

  I Ada lot for lunch so now I’m really full.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Dewey.

  Dewey who?

  Dewey have to go to school today?

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Jell-o.

  Jell-o who?

  Jell-o, it’s me again!

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Peas.

  Peas who?

  Peas, can you come out and play?

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Fanny.

  Fanny who?

  If Fanny body asks, I’m not home.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Hugo.

  Hugo who?

  Hugo first and I’ll go second.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Megan.

  Megan who?

  You’re Megan me crazy with all of these knock knock jokes.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Owen.

  Owen who?

  I’m Owen you a lot of money, but I’ll pay you back soon!

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Lucas.

  Lucas who?

  Lucas in the eye and tell us you don’t want to hear another knock knock joke!

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Luke.

  Luke who?

  You Luke like you want to hear another knock knock joke!

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Quack.

  Quack who?

  You quack me up with all these knock knock jokes.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Sadie.

  Sadie who?

  If I Sadie magic word will you let me in?

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Queen.

  Queen who?

  I had a bath, so I’m queen as a whistle!

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Baby Al.

  Baby Al who?

  Baby Al will, baby Al won’t.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Canoe.

  Canoe who?

  Canoe come out and play?

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Oldest.

  Oldest who?

  Oldest knocking is giving me a headache.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Woody.

  Woody who?

  Woody like to hear another knock knock joke?

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  B.C.

  B.C. who?

  I’ll B.C.-ing you soon.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Weed.

  Weed who?

  Weed better go home now for dinner.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Dawn.

  Dawn who?

  Dawn mess around, or I’m leaving!

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Rockefeller.

  Rockefeller who?

  Rockefeller in his cradle and he’ll go right to sleep.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Dora.

  Dora who?

  A Dora is between us, so open up!

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Braden.

  Braden who?

  Are you busy Braden your hair or will you open the door?

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Hannah.

  Hannah who?

  Hannah over the keys so I can open this door!

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Gary.

  Gary who?

  Gary me inside—my legs are tired.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  I don’t know.

  I don’t know who?

  I don’t know who either, so open the door and find out.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Beth.

  Beth who?

  I didn’t sneeze!

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Shelby.

  Shelby who?

  Shelby coming around the mountain when she comes!

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Howl.

  Howl who?

  Howl we get away from all these knock knock jokes?

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Water.

  Water who?

  Water you doing at my house?

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Vera.

  Vera who?

  Vera few people think these jokes are funny.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Garden.

  Garden who?

  Stop garden the door and let me in!

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Henrietta.

  Henrietta who?

  Henrietta bug and now he’s sick.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Annie.

  Annie who?

  Annie reason you’re not opening the door?

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Dozen.

  Dozen who?

  Dozen anyone ever open the door?

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Dragon.

  Dragon who?

  These jokes are dragon on and on.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Willie.

  Willie who?

  Willie tell us more knock knock jokes?

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Moe.

  Moe who?

  Moe knock knock jokes, please.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Ernest.

  Ernest who?

  Ernest is full of chicken eggs.

  Knock k
nock.

  Who’s there?

  Taylor.

  Taylor who?

  Taylor brother to pick up his toys.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Dewy.

  Dewy who?

  Dewy get to hear more knock knock jokes?

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Lettuce.

  Lettuce who?

  Lettuce in and you’ll find out.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Collette.

  Collette who?

  Collette crazy, but I’d like to come in and see you.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Radio.

  Radio who?

  Radio not, here I come!

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Achoo.

  Achoo who?

  Achoo my gum every day.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Juicy.

  Juicy who?

  Juicy any monsters under my bed?

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Alaska.

  Alaska who?

  Alaska one more time to let me in!

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Yellow.

  Yellow who?

  Yellow, and how are you doing today?

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Doughnut.

  Doughnut who?

  Doughnut open the door to strangers!

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Handsome.

  Handsome who?

  Handsome food to me—I’m really hungry!

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Rabbit.

  Rabbit who?

  Rabbit carefully, it’s a Christmas present!

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Sarah.

  Sarah who?

  Is Sarah doctor in the house? I feel sick!

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Ida.

  Ida who?

  Ida know, why don’t you open up and find out?

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Oscar.

  Oscar who?

  Oscar a silly question, get a silly answer.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Dishes.

  Dishes who?

  Dishes not the end of my knock knock jokes!

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Olive.

  Olive who?

  Olive these knock knock jokes are making me sick.

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Who.

  Who who?

  Are you an owl or something?

  Knock knock.

  Who’s there?

  Sombrero.

  Sombrero who?

  Sombrero-ver the rainbow.